Posts tagged Read
Mood rings.
7Those words always make me think of that one Reliant K song.
But anyway, why is it that everything, anything, effects our mood? That the wrong colors together, the wrong note, pitch, or just sound can make or kill a moment? Why are we so controlled by our own bodies and life around us that IT defines how are day is…not by our own choice.
How is it that even through hundreds, thousands even, of years that we cannot learn to control our body over this? Personally I believe we never truly want to in everything. That it is worth the downside of ruining our day for the times it makes it.
But still, moods. I never have understood why it is that we are restrained in these meatsacks we call bodies and their many, many limitations. We have so much potential in our minds and spirits…and alot can be restrained or stopped because of the limits our flesh and soul have caused us to have. Yes, I know it is strange to think of it like that.
But if I do not, who then, will?
Simply put, I like to question things no one ever even thinks to complain or question about. It amuses me the limitations we put on our minds and how we react to the world and it’s many hidden, stone set rules around us, and that no one ever stops to think why they are there, what made them so, or even why they cant change. I think it’s because everyone else is satisfied with how it is. It works right? hah.
But for me, even if it works, I want to know why it works, if anything else would, and if so, why choose this way for it to?
I’ve literally sent myself into a type of trance thinking about things like this. Thinking so far into my mind and creativity that all my senses intertwine and are no more at the same time. That I’m looking at blackness at night, but I see so many things I cannot fathom into words, sounds, shapes, or colors.
And it sometime scares me that I never hear of anyone else who does the same, haha.
But I guess that is just how it is, how it goes, how it will be. And for me, I am done with my rambling that is inside my brain. So until next that I decide to type my heart, mind, and spirit into words that you can read and try to venture and envelope into my world of thought,
goodbye.
Semper Fidelis
0In translation from Latin, it means “Always Faithful”. On the back of someones car, it got me thinking…who among us can truly use this anymore? Sure it’s referring to the Marines. But I mean in a daily walk of life, who can use this? Me? You?…
I don’t know, life has been shooting me in the face this last month… Not just this and that… just everything; the point, the flow, the love, the reason, the peace, the hate. Just everything… I’ve felt so disconnected to the real world here lately…no reason to… just have been… I’ve been slowly reconnecting, especially with help from loved ones. But still, it’s just like taking everything in, its hard not to… to think of earth as a small dot in the works of everything. To think of work, play, sleep, and all the in-between.
I cant help it, I cant stop it. All I can do is try and rejoin the rest of you living your daily lives among another, while I feel like I’m observing ants in a ant habitat. Going about your daily life, all connected to one another without even realizing it really…but still all connected to each other. But I’m not, I am some kind of observer in the distance, commingling amidst you, and putting on a smile like I am part of you, but in reality only half of me is…only part of my spirit is, the rest is in a different world, a different everything. No one knows but me, and my God above…and most likely all but a handfull will ever know.
What can I do? nothing, ever. I have to live the rest of my human life in this meatsack of sin until the day my flesh dies and rots, maggot infested in the ground below, it almost is like the sin catches up with the body through the decay of the maggots…if you think about it that is what sin is coming out of our lives, life decaying maggots harvesting on our souls, much like they do our bodies once we die.
I’m stuck, I’m afraid, I’m slipping away… I’m tired, I’m scratching at the walls trying to hold on, I’m…I’m ready to feel at home again…reconnected, warm, at touch with my soul. Instead I am at war with myself, my will, and my heart. Because that is all I can do, and it cannot ever end… This, is my blessing and curse. To have this war. To have this disconnection. To have what I have, be who I am, and become what I will.
Is it worth it? Yes.
Does it always feel like it? No, rarely ever does.
Is this fair, you ask? Really, the answer is up to the eye of the beholder. To me, yes, it is for reasons noone would understand but me. But alas, I still have to bear it with passion, with pride, and with honor till the day I die.
Only me, myself, and God. But I know one thing…I have, and shall always be Semper Fidelis to it all.
*Purr*
2OMGITSBEENSOLONG.
So, in short?
Had amazing times with Madison which I’d love to go into detail about each one…but I will say we are growing closer than before… we might have our moments… but when it comes down to it… I love that woman whole-heartedly and endlessly, and cannot wait to marry her :] I love you Madison. Time, trials, and tribulations might come our way… But I’m in this for the long run… and that is not ever changing, my love.
Anyway, had an amazing concert in a school cafeteria with The Joshua Band…ahhh…it felt so nice to play somewhere like that and have such an amazing show, word, and altar call (over 50 kids got saved/rededicated).
I have rekindled my love for tinkering (soldering to fix stuff, build stuff, or change stuff…messing with pcs, building pcs..etc)…and in doing so I have made it once again harder to choose my career path 
I have began to make/already made new close friends…and I know they’ll prob be life friends…and realized some that I lost…that I wish I didn’t. And I will continue to miss them until I rekindle or close that relationship that I severed. 
I still don’t have a job.
I am getting near graduation…May 22nd!
I am still–if not more–insane/crazy/random.
I really don’t know what else that there is to say of importance atm… prob will have forgotten something big and have to make a new one…but oh well haha.
Hatred ever kills, love never dies; such is the vast difference between the two.
What is obtained by love is retained for all time. What is obtained by hatred proves
a burden in reality for it increases hatred. – Ghandi
Rue, baby, Rue.
1Hello. 
So, today was okay…slept in till 11:30l 11:30
English: World English Bible - WEB
30 For even as Jonah became a sign to the Ninevites, so will also the Son of Man be to this generation.
WP-Bible pluginam, and stayed in bed till 12:30l 12:30
English: World English Bible - WEB
30 For the nations of the world seek after all of these things, but your Father knows that you need these things.
WP-Bible pluginpm lol…
This was because I was on the phone with Madison though 
...anyway....did this for a good bit, then I was up just walking around and playing with meh demon cat 
and then talked to momma for a spell...then we ended up going to McDonald's for a drink, and ended up getting burgers 
Then a bit later after I ate I jumped into the shower, then got on the PC for a bit while my hair dried haha...then Mom got ready, and so did I...because we decided since she had the day off, and I still am looking for a job, why not go to gainesville outlet mall, and get some apps :] So right before we headed out Dad got home, and he joined us
When we got there I went to Rue21 and got a app, then filled it out and came back :]
And they seemed to like me…so maybe I have a job? I’m praying so :] and for backup I also got a app at Gap and Reebok at the same mall :]
So today was eventful and meaningful…but man, when I got home I started getting sinus pressure and migraines kicked in So I laid down and ended up missing supper because of it…I was in too much pain to move, let alone eat hah…especially since Dad keeps the TV ungodly loud But thankfully after the nap and a quick bowl of cereal, the migraine was down to a headache, and the sinus pressure was almost gone :]
So I called Madison, and right away she made me take a Tylenol haha…
Then at about 9pm I guess it was Madison left to call some other people before it got late, and I ate something else and sat down and watched All About Steve with Josh and Aaryn :]
But then around 11:30pm Madison finally called me back…and I was on the phone with her up till around 12:15am when she went to bed :] And all I have done since then is checked my email, uploaded some new smileys and done this blog haha.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, has been my day
Until we meet again in this lonely abyss we call the “internet”,
So long, my wonderful readers.
Ehh, Ahh, and Ooh.
1So, today was kinda meh…
I woke up like always to the voice of my beautiful Madison on the phone, then I fell back to sleep
After that I didn’t wake up till 1pm. Yeah, I know….you foresaw it with how late my last blog was eh?
Well then after I woke up I got to talk to my love a little on IM while she was at school (Yes, when she’s not busy, not when she’s supposed to be doing school ) then when she had to go I did nothing till she was out of school…well..something happened…but I rather not discuss it here online…or even in any other way….
But anyway, took a shower around 4pm, and soon as I was out…MY MADISON CALLED! :] — Yes I’m aware I get like a giddy 5yr old boy who just got a lollipop given to him when it’s about Madison…and no, I don’t regret it at all :] She makes me so happy and bubbly :]
Anyway, talked to her up until round 5:30pm when she had to leave to go to the Haunted House her school is throwing this week…and I left at 6pm for church anyways…we went up there to fill bags of candy for kids, to hand out this week….but we also got cheese bread and a pizza! WHOO!!! :]
Then at around 8:45pm my love called me while she was on a break with a friend at sonic getting a snack, and had to go soon after
So, when I got home at around 9pm I got on the PC…WOO!!! Haha…And I played Fallout 3 some more (I didn’t even realize that 3 more expansions came out…so I dug out my game and reinstalled it ), and then decided to get Borderlands…so I did…and OOOH…I like so far….I didn’t get to play long…I got my character to level 2 and that’s it…because Madison called and told me to do homework 
haha.
Then we talked for a bit till she needed to head to bed, So I finished up my homework, then headed back on here to check my email and stuffs one last time, and ended up downloading some windows 7 updates, avg updates, and going a quick disk defrag with the awesome Auslogics Disk Defrag :]
Finally, after all of that I got on here to blog….and that’s been my day!
Oh, and I’m part of a new site now called Dailybooth and I forgot to even say, or add it…so I’ll add it to my links list to the right. :]
U2 WAS AMAZING! :] Oh, And The Rest of My Week.
3So, I haven’t blogged in awhile…sorry
Well, so…
Saturday: Did some last minute packing for Oklahoma trip…ate, talked on the phone some…then around 5pm we headed out…many songs and silliness-ness later…we arrived in Ada, OK where my sister Amber lives at about 7:30pm’ish?
We unpacked the musical gear from the truck…then headed to Blue Moon Cafe…which, is where this was taken of Jessie
Then we headed to the church to practice…Josh, Jessie, Amber, Michael (her husband), and I played for my sister’s church on sunday morning ;]
After about 2hrs we were done learning about 6 songs…most of which were new to Amber and Michael…and 1 was new to us all except Josh, who wrote it…and writes most of what we play…we being The Joshua Band aka. Josh, Jessie, Chris(who couldn’t come) and I…
And jeez…my hands we’re literally about to bleed and we’re blistered…and ripped in 3 places…because they have their drums in a box thing…so you have to beat the heck out of them to get dynamics
After that we headed to Michael’s dad Mickey’s house, and unpacked…that is where we slept
And I talked to my Madison till about 4:30am that night…long story…..and to you Madison…thank you, and I believe and accept it now…hopefully over time I’ll learn to trust in it more and make use to it like you have my love….
Sunday: Woke up about 9am…got ready, and headed to Life Community Church to play :]
After church, we headed to Rib Crib (delllicious :]), and this is where I took a pic of my hands seen here…this picture doesnt do them justice to how bad it was sadly
after that we went back to Pastor Mickey’s house and changed…then around 4pm we headed over to Amber’s house…then at around 4:30pm we headed out to Norman, OK….To see U2
got there, got inside, found our seats…and at around 7pm Black Eyed Peas started…They were good…but dude with the mo-hawk cannot sing worth a crap live…but My Humps, Boom Boom Pow, I Gotta Feeling, and Big Girls Don’t Cry was still awesome live though :] Will-i-am and Fergie are still awesome sounding live :]
Then at around 8:45pm U2 started :] EEE!:D…..and LORD GOD JESUS…I had a Concertgasm Like seriously…it’s gonna be hard to enjoy any other concert now…I mean think about it…I’ve seen the best one in every way…so now everything else will fall short in all but prob one or two areas hah. Vids here. Pics here or here
Then after the amazing show (we got out at about 12:20am) we drove home…got home around 2am because of the crazy traffic…and headed to bed.
Monday: didn’t wake up till around 1pm haha…then we woke up, went to Amber’s house for a bit….went and ate at Braum’s…then went back to the church loaded up our gear, then went to Amber’s house again…and chilled there till around 3:20pm when we headed out…
Got home at around 5:20pm…then I talked on the phone till around 1am. and went to bed.
Tuesday: What did I do tuesday? not alot haha…Talked on the phone, worked on random Gfx, uploaded U2 videos and pictures…and oh, stayed up till 5am fixing the church’s pc…I fixed it at around 10pm…it was a bad PSU…and I happened to have a spare one from eariler…and fixed it…then I got anything off of it we could use (Dad bought it from another church that was shutting down, and selling off their stuff for $100)…
Then reformatted it, and installed a fresh new install of Windows XP – Vortex 3G RED Edition, then loaded it with software we need like MediaShout, WinDVD, K-Lite Codec Pack…etc and other software you need really like Auslogics BoostSpeed, CCleaner, Filezilla…etc
After doing all that, upgrades, fixing random stuff like missing audio and ethernet drivers, and cleaning off un-needed hardware…it was around 5am
Wednesday: Today? not alot…talked on the phone with Madison alot, done homework, messed with stuff on the pc, talked on the phone some more…chatted with some old friends I haven’t in a long while on Facebook (Hi Sparky! ), and then started this.
So that has been my weekend /week. :]
Essay, Photoshop, and Missing Church.
3Hi there my readers! yes, I’m speaking to all 2 of you. hah.
My day was okay today, kinda bland again. I woke up at around 11:30pm from about 10 messages from Madison on IM that I had missed from 8am-11:20am IM SORRY BABY! :[ This keeps happening here lately and I'm sorry my love *kiss*
Anywho, got up, ate some grub, and then got on the computer. Where I did pretty much nothing of use, till Stephanie texting me, asking if I knew where to learn how to use Photoshop...So after a little while when I was on the pc, I sent her a list of sites for Tutorials, Inspiration, Brushes, and Fonts to help her out :] So that made me feel a little better that my time was actually helping someone maybe…
THEN…*cue theme music* DA DA DA!!!!! *drum roll*……….getting excited yet?…..*drum roll*……..*drum crash* MADISON CALLED! haha.
And I talked to her for a good bit o’ time, but she was tired and took a nap while keeping me on the line. So I got on Photoshop and Illustrator
Here’s what I made
Then, once Madison woke up, we talked some more, and she realized it was 6:50pm and I wasnt at church, and I told her about how my parents were still gone wherever, and so I didnt have a ride there, which also made me miss Cayli’s birthday party meh….anyway, then supper was done, and I let her go, ate, and then called her back.
But she had to do something, I forget what? And made me do my homework haha. So I finished up my Human A&P homework, and was in the middle of revising my “If” paper for English class when she called. And she helped me correct it and gave me alot of useful tips and ideas on what to do on the parts I was lost in.
So thanks so so much baby :] You’re a lifesaver *kiss* I lovea you! lol.
And then after I finished up that it was getting late, so I let my love go to bed, and I got up on the pc and starting typing this…man I was really detailed today eh?
Oh well!
EEK! I sorrys! :[
2I haven’t blogged in a few days…oops! well…HI!
So, recap needed of the weekend? Not really…but I will anyway!
Sunday:
Woke up at 9am, got ready, and went to church, had our pre-service practice at 9:30am, and church started at 10:30am…worship went well…Dad’s sermon this week was really good, but like it can be was a “toe-stomper” subject church let out and we headed to Luigi’s Pizza Italian Restaurant and ate some grub with my fam fam and Joseph Weaver and his fam :] I got Lasagna! mmm :] then we headed home, and from then on I was on the phone off and on with Madison. :]
Monday:
Hmm…well Monday was pretty bland, except getting to talk to my love after she was out of school :] Oh, I guess I could mention that Monday night I started messing around in Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, and Dreamweaver CS4 again trying to refresh myself, and get back into the habit. I’m going to start making something in Photoshop (or Illustrator) daily…even if its useless and random, just to keep refreshed, and to get practice in! That, and I’m trying to figure out how to make WordPress themes
Oh! Oh! I got really bored in Photoshop too Monday night and made all of these!
Tuesday:
Also pretty bland…except for once again talking to my love off and on when she was out of school :] — and a side note to my love, sorry you had a bad day today *kiss* I hope I helped make it better in some way throughout the day *kiss kiss* I Love You, My Angel :]
and that pretty much sums it all up, because I talked on the phone to me Madisono! And I ate grilled chicken with my fam fam + Aaryn = all my fam fam soon enough anyways
So yeah, that’s been My weekend/Monday/Tuesday/Why do I keep/Everything I say?/No/Idea/Huh/That’s just/Odd./././.
Oh, and yeah. Haven’t done this in awhile…and I really should have
Please check out these few sites by simply clicking on the pictures, and if your heart calls and beacons you, like it did, and does mine, then please join these causes…
It would mean alot to me, to many unborn babies wanting to live, and also to confused and hurt teens/adults needing love.
Practice makes…decent?
2Well, my day started out late…I woke up at 12:30pm
Anyway, I pretty much chilled at home and talked to my Madison all day up till around 5:30pm when I showered, then left for my church, in Denton. When we(Dad, Mom, Hailey[niece], and I) got to the church, I talked to everyone who was there for awhile. Then Cody came to my church about 6:40pm, and we left to go to Grace Fellowship to practice a song he wrote…
Oh, btw I’m now basically part of 3 bands: My church’s worship team, The Joshua Band, and now Cody’s band which has yet to be named :]
Anyway, we got there and UGH…I had to use the electronic drums already there for this week…and Lord God Jesus…I forget how much they suck…mehh. But I managed to get through the practice decently, despite having no real dynamics (which caused me to blister my hands horribly because out of habit I play harder to sound louder.), but we got it basically down in the 1hr of practice we had…so that’s good I guess :]
OH! OH! OH! I almost forgot to say!…….Hi. :]
A Mediocre Friday
1Well, today was okay…Woke up at about 9am, got ready, and left for my Homeschool bowling league :] It was fun as always.
But ugh…my scores today was pretty horrid…mostly anyway. Today I scored 74, 133, and 108 = UGH haha…I tend to keep an avg of about 120 or so…but I about never hit under a 100. My scores range from 100-160 or higher on random days
Anyway, that all went okay. Then we left and went home…and that’s all I’ve done since. Amazingly exciting day, no?
So I guess what I’ll do is give a personal view on something. Sounds like a blasty-blast, eh? What am I going to talk about? No idea…haha. I’m literally just writing as I go…So this outta be interesting…
Hmm, so in Human A&P class last Thursday while my teacher was talking I realized something…anyone who doesn’t believe in anything but Intelligent Design (aka. God created everything) is off their freakin rocker…seriously.
I mean think about it…We are made up out of 11 organ systems within the human body: integumentary, skeletal, muscular, nervous, endocrine, circulatory, lymphatic, respiratory, digestive, urinary, and reproductive. And each one of those can be broken down into more categories, and those categories can be broken down into more categories…etc. And this goes on for a long while, until to get down to atoms. And we’re not even sure that’s the end…that’s just all we can get to. And if anything was different or served a different purpose then it does, or was a different shape. It wouldn’t work right for our bodies and we wouldn’t be able to live.
And if that isn’t enough to make someone see how intricate and detailed we are made, then zoom out in the opposite direction.
We, as a human, look like a pebble from the air, and further out, our state looks like a small spec from space…if its even able to be located. And our planet Earth, looks like a pebble next to Jupiter. And Jupiter looks like a pebble next to our Sun…etc
Here are even pics to describe what I mean
I mean seriously. How the hell could all of this be an accident or just happen from a series of random events?
Only a fool who doesn’t want to think their is a being who is above him and he should serve would want to deny Intelligent Design, or better yet, God. That’s who…
So why is it that in our school system what is being taught to them from a young age is The THEORY of Evolution…which when traced back was from people who didn’t want to accept there was a God, either because they didn’t want their to be a Master whom they should serve or submit authority to, or because they didn’t want to put belief in anything that they couldn’t see, or understand.
Why did I get off on to what I did? No idea. But I said it.
So take what you will from it.
So to those who don’t agree on that, don’t ridicule me, or say I’m wrong. Because on this subject I am right…you’ll just have to get over it, or leave.
To those still curious about exactly what I mean, leave me a email. or comment on here :]