Posts tagged king
Mood rings.
7Those words always make me think of that one Reliant K song.
But anyway, why is it that everything, anything, effects our mood? That the wrong colors together, the wrong note, pitch, or just sound can make or kill a moment? Why are we so controlled by our own bodies and life around us that IT defines how are day is…not by our own choice.
How is it that even through hundreds, thousands even, of years that we cannot learn to control our body over this? Personally I believe we never truly want to in everything. That it is worth the downside of ruining our day for the times it makes it.
But still, moods. I never have understood why it is that we are restrained in these meatsacks we call bodies and their many, many limitations. We have so much potential in our minds and spirits…and alot can be restrained or stopped because of the limits our flesh and soul have caused us to have. Yes, I know it is strange to think of it like that.
But if I do not, who then, will?
Simply put, I like to question things no one ever even thinks to complain or question about. It amuses me the limitations we put on our minds and how we react to the world and it’s many hidden, stone set rules around us, and that no one ever stops to think why they are there, what made them so, or even why they cant change. I think it’s because everyone else is satisfied with how it is. It works right? hah.
But for me, even if it works, I want to know why it works, if anything else would, and if so, why choose this way for it to?
I’ve literally sent myself into a type of trance thinking about things like this. Thinking so far into my mind and creativity that all my senses intertwine and are no more at the same time. That I’m looking at blackness at night, but I see so many things I cannot fathom into words, sounds, shapes, or colors.
And it sometime scares me that I never hear of anyone else who does the same, haha.
But I guess that is just how it is, how it goes, how it will be. And for me, I am done with my rambling that is inside my brain. So until next that I decide to type my heart, mind, and spirit into words that you can read and try to venture and envelope into my world of thought,
goodbye.
Fallen
1Am I fallen, or am I falling?
Am I forsaken, or am I forsaking?
Am I unique, or am I losing it?
I ask you, all of this.
And what do I get?
Why am I here?
Why did you make me like this?
Is it for a cause?
Is it for a purpose?
Why give me this, and not give me the instructions.
Why make me like this, but not make it easy.
Would that make it too easy?
Would that make it too open?
If so, than what am I supposed to do?
Sit here alone?
Go out a fight?
Help the wounded?
Or just keep on asking why?
Oh, why, why?
Why would you leave me here?
Oh, why, why?
Why wont you answer me here?
Oh, why, why?
Why wont you tell me?
Oh, why, why?
Why do you keep trying to break me?
All I want, all I ask, is a little help
But all I get, all I hear, is a little hurt.
Why? Why make it like this?
Are you this cruel?
Or is there a point?
Can’t you just nod, or make some sign?
Oh, why, why?
Why wont you answer me?
Oh, why, why?
Why wont you comfort me?
Oh, why, why?
Why would you give me this?
Oh, why, why?
What can I do with it?
But sit here alone, staring up at you.
Asking you these worthless questions.
I guess I’ll never know, but it was worth a try.
Until the next I cry, This is goodbye.
Meaning.
0The Point of it all…
What is the point of it all? Really, think about that question truly and wholly, and you’ll find its hard to answer…why?
Want an example?
If you told me “the point of it all is to get as rich as you can and live your life to the fullest”…
I’d ask you the simple question “why?” whoa…didn’t think about that one much did you?
What I mean is sure…it’s nice to have money, and in turn nice things and able to do a lot of stuff…but why do it? Why go out and work your end off, to have finally by the time you are in your late 20’s – early 40’s to have hopefully made a good sum of money. Just to spend on things that will be useless soon, breakdown, digress in fun, and pretty much be useless to you once you’re dead.
Oh, okay, you didn’t mean make money for stuff…you meant a lot of money to go out, party, get drunk/high, and have a night full of wild sex with a hottie from a club…right? Again I would ask “why?”
First off, you can only party so long and all it’s doing is making you tired and sweaty.
Secondly, getting drunk only lasts so long, and doing more will kill you…and getting high on a drug will only do so much for you, and get you addicted, and either…luckily kill you, or even worse make you lose all your wealth on this addiction you made, and be living on nothing, having to give blowjobs to a perverse fat man named “Pete” to get a gram or two of your drug of choice….
Oh, but I left out all those hottie’s in the club you get to have all that crazy/wild sex with…right?
No, that’s next.
Sex only fills a need (yes a very good feeling need) for so long, until you have to stop.
And you know what? Just having sex is useless….
I plan on it…
Ok, so you take a hot, young woman home, do your thing, and she leaves that night or the following morning…then what?…you do it again with someone else….and someone else…and someone else…and…oh…you’re too old…now the hotties think you look like a old pervert…
And you know what? Now you have two options…Hire hookers, or actually try to date someone.
But you know what that does? By the time you are done “Having fun, being single, and living like a king” all the girls even worth marrying are taken, or are not interested in someone who has done every girl he has came in contact with.
So you end up alone, and with a empty place in your home, and your heart…and you’ll realize that instead of partying, getting quick fixes, and having sex with alot of random women, you should have given a crap about one of them, or another girl.
Because guess what? Good job…your life of “partying” didn’t pay off well in the end…you’re alone…or still filling it with quick fixes, stuck with a girl you got pregnant you don’t love, or you have to use your money to get another fill of happiness in the form of booze, drugs, or sex.
And you realize something…you just screwed up ad wasted your whole life on petty useless things…all those “stories” you were able to tell friends are gone…because as soon as the wealth, fame, or fun is gone…so will those “friends” you had. Your alone, pathetic, and miserable…
But oh hey! There is all that precious money of yours still…maybe anyway…so how much does that green paper have meaning now?
Not as much huh?What is the point of this?
Nothing really…
I’m just trying to get across in my own way of saying that there is nothing of or from this world that will feel our needs.
Think About It.
~Ba Da Dum Bum~
3Yes, I know I’m behind in this…I’m sorry…forgive me? kthx <3 u 
<– uber geek for that sentence I know…
Anyway, it has almost been a week I’m sorry 
Well must hasn’t happened this week at all…
Haha…oh, except the fact Madison has me on a new schedule, which is something like…
12am bed-time + 7am wake-up time + homework (which she organized for me what to do daily) done daily by 4:30PM + keeping at trying to find a job – fun – a say in any of it = the plan I’m now on
Haha I’m kidding baby :] I need it…I really do, I procrastinate sooo bad…and this is my Senior year, so I need someone like her to kick my butt in gear, and keep it there. So thanks baby :] *kiss*
Speaking of me Madison-o! I GET TO SEE HER FRIDAY! EEEEEK!K!!K!K!K!KEEK!E!E!!!!! :]
I’m happy. Very. Very. Happy. :]
And well that’s kinda been my week…lots of homework, trying to get into the habit of waking up earlier. and yes, I know its later then 12am right now…but that’s because I’m behind in blogging and I couldn’t sleep because I’m thinking of alot of crap I need to get done by late December :\ @the few that know why….eeek! :]
Oh, well I guess here is all the random pictures I taken or edited in the last week :]
U2 WAS AMAZING! :] Oh, And The Rest of My Week.
3So, I haven’t blogged in awhile…sorry 
Well, so…
Saturday: Did some last minute packing for Oklahoma trip…ate, talked on the phone some…then around 5pm we headed out…many songs and silliness-ness later…we arrived in Ada, OK where my sister Amber lives at about 7:30pm’ish?
We unpacked the musical gear from the truck…then headed to Blue Moon Cafe…which, is where this was taken of Jessie
Then we headed to the church to practice…Josh, Jessie, Amber, Michael (her husband), and I played for my sister’s church on sunday morning ;]
After about 2hrs we were done learning about 6 songs…most of which were new to Amber and Michael…and 1 was new to us all except Josh, who wrote it…and writes most of what we play…we being The Joshua Band aka. Josh, Jessie, Chris(who couldn’t come) and I…
And jeez…my hands we’re literally about to bleed and we’re blistered…and ripped in 3 places…because they have their drums in a box thing…so you have to beat the heck out of them to get dynamics
After that we headed to Michael’s dad Mickey’s house, and unpacked…that is where we slept
And I talked to my Madison till about 4:30am that night…long story…..and to you Madison…thank you, and I believe and accept it now…hopefully over time I’ll learn to trust in it more and make use to it like you have my love….
Sunday: Woke up about 9am…got ready, and headed to Life Community Church to play :]
After church, we headed to Rib Crib (delllicious :]), and this is where I took a pic of my hands seen here…this picture doesnt do them justice to how bad it was sadly
after that we went back to Pastor Mickey’s house and changed…then around 4pm we headed over to Amber’s house…then at around 4:30pm we headed out to Norman, OK….To see U2
got there, got inside, found our seats…and at around 7pm Black Eyed Peas started…They were good…but dude with the mo-hawk cannot sing worth a crap live…but My Humps, Boom Boom Pow, I Gotta Feeling, and Big Girls Don’t Cry was still awesome live though :] Will-i-am and Fergie are still awesome sounding live :]
Then at around 8:45pm U2 started :] EEE!:D…..and LORD GOD JESUS…I had a Concertgasm Like seriously…it’s gonna be hard to enjoy any other concert now…I mean think about it…I’ve seen the best one in every way…so now everything else will fall short in all but prob one or two areas hah. Vids here. Pics here or here
Then after the amazing show (we got out at about 12:20am) we drove home…got home around 2am because of the crazy traffic…and headed to bed.
Monday: didn’t wake up till around 1pm haha…then we woke up, went to Amber’s house for a bit….went and ate at Braum’s…then went back to the church loaded up our gear, then went to Amber’s house again…and chilled there till around 3:20pm when we headed out…
Got home at around 5:20pm…then I talked on the phone till around 1am. and went to bed.
Tuesday: What did I do tuesday? not alot haha…Talked on the phone, worked on random Gfx, uploaded U2 videos and pictures…and oh, stayed up till 5am fixing the church’s pc…I fixed it at around 10pm…it was a bad PSU…and I happened to have a spare one from eariler…and fixed it…then I got anything off of it we could use (Dad bought it from another church that was shutting down, and selling off their stuff for $100)…
Then reformatted it, and installed a fresh new install of Windows XP – Vortex 3G RED Edition, then loaded it with software we need like MediaShout, WinDVD, K-Lite Codec Pack…etc and other software you need really like Auslogics BoostSpeed, CCleaner, Filezilla…etc
After doing all that, upgrades, fixing random stuff like missing audio and ethernet drivers, and cleaning off un-needed hardware…it was around 5am 
Wednesday: Today? not alot…talked on the phone with Madison alot, done homework, messed with stuff on the pc, talked on the phone some more…chatted with some old friends I haven’t in a long while on Facebook (Hi Sparky! ), and then started this.
So that has been my weekend /week. :]
Madison.
4Well, not too much happened today, I slept in pretty late (well besides being woke up to that dog barking his head off non-stop at 8am )
But I kinda want to take this blog to talk about my love, Madison.
As I’ve mentioned before, me and Madison met at Assembly of God church camp this year in late June of 2009…we saw each other for the first time, at two different times…and even from then I sensed something different…something intrigued me about her…I didn’t know what…but I wanted to find out…
So, that night we ended up getting placed on the same team(that’s funny considering of the tons of kids…we got on the same team) and got to know each other…We talked a little here and there…and I just felt that feeling grow…and I liked it…but it confused me…because it felt familiar…but completely new at the same time…and at that time I didn’t know what it was…which if you don’t know now…you will soon enough.
So, at the next lunch thing, I saw her about half way across the room…and we made silly hand gestures and faces back and forth…then I went to do something else, after not doing so in a while…and she was gone…and my heart sulked…and I didn’t really understand why…I mean I knew why…because I was kinda afraid that would be the last time I saw her…but I didn’t understand why I felt like that for someone I verily knew…
But me and a friend named Nate left, and I saw her sitting on the brick sidewalk thing…so we approached her…and proceeded to make smalltalk, talking about everything from shoes, to the huge balloon making noise behind us. But I liked and enjoyed it, and enjoyed learning even the smallest things about her, and her traits, and her habits. She intrigued me so much…and I didn’t know why.
So, from then on Me, Madison, Nate, and later the next day Lacey, all hung out for the remainder of camp…
But before I get ahead of myself…I want to keep going about us…
that following night we went to the main night service in the sanctuary…and during one part of it…Madison grabbed me, and Nate’s hand…and we went to the altar…where we prayed, and was prayed over…but then we sat down…and basically shared our deepest and darkest secrets with one another…and my heart poured out to them both…but especially Madison…once again…I felt that feeling…but mixed with compassion and hurt that was done to her…and I wanted to hug and kiss her and tell her its all going to be better…and I had to stop myself before I did…and I thought it was strange I felt that strongly for someones pain within a few days of knowing them.
Then next day, about mid day…something happened with me and my ex…who was there…fun I know…and pretty much tried to kick me to the dirt, then kick me again…and I took it…and didn’t try to hurt her or retaliate. But later…after she left…it was just the 4 of us…and we talked about it some…and I remember Madison nicknamed her “The Dragon Lady” and told me I didn’t deserve being treated like that at all. and then the announcement came over the speaker that we had to go to our dorms to do devotionals…and that’s when me and Madison hugged…then she leaned in and kissed me. And I know it was a kiss of “Its going to be better Andrew”. But I couldnt help but feel all bubbly…and different…very different…and I didnt understand it…even telling myself “No…no…it couldn’t be that…I’ve only known her a few days?!”.
So, once we we’re done with that..and met back up with the girls…I acted a bit differently…scared of doing anything under the false pretense of her just giving that kiss as nothing more then a sentimental “It’s going to be okay” and scare, or anger her. But I couldn’t help myself…and eventually I kissed her again, and again, and again. And it felt so….right…which logically made not one bit of sense in my head…at all. I was thinking “No, you’ve known her a few days, you cant love her, and even if so, why would she want to love or be with someone like you? shes way out of your league, and so much a better person then you.” Yes, I know I’m hard on myself lol. But that is how I thought….
But I couldn’t resist being near her, holding her, hugging her, and kissing her…it felt so familiar, so warm, so loving…but yet…so new…so refreshing…so…right.
So, before the evening service we we’re sitting down talking…and she had drew a heart on my hand….and it said “I <3 you”…literally a “<3″ not “love” haha….and I held up my hand and said “Me too”…but she wouldn’t let me get away with just that haha…she said “What do you mean?”…and I did it again…and she said something like “That’s not what I meant…what do you mean…I want to hear it” basically is what she meant…so…even though logically, I knew I shouldn’t be able to fall in love with someone in less then a week…I did…and I know I did…but I was afraid to say it…afraid of her not feeling the same…or of it being a “camp-fling” or the likes….but I pushed away the brain trying to tell me it cant be…that’s only in movies….and I told her…I said “I love you”…and she said “I love you too Andrew”……and the next question relieved, but scared me…she asked “Do you want it to end at camp?”…I said “No, no I don’t….at all”…and she said “Neither do I” and smiled…and rubbed her hand against mine. :] So from then on we we’re I guess “officially” dating :]
And it was hard those few weeks after camp only talking on the phone…and it still can be…see, she lives 1 1/2hrs away in jacksboro ….but once I got to see her outside of camp…and it was the same warm smile…the same loving, eager eyes to see me…I felt in shock in a way…because somehow…someway…she looked even more beautiful then I remembered…somehow…and I remembered her being the most beautiful thing as it was…but from that second…I knew it was love…and I knew…it was…for real.
And this happened and happens every time I see her again. It’s like I’m looking at an angel…even more beautiful then the last one somehow….with those same loving, warm eyes…and those compassionate (and delicious) lips :]
So everytime I talk to her, I get to know her more, get to hear her stories, and her mine…and I get to love her more every day…but when I see her…oh…It’s not just that…everytime I see her….I see the purpose of life, what it feels like to be loved more then you, or anyone else can love you, what it feels like to enjoy hearing her voice, seeing her eyes, her smile, her love. And to know that it is towards you, and that you are loved by her….it is truly breath taking…and a beautiful thing to have…inside and out…
Just like my love…beautiful inside and out…
Just like…my Madison. *kiss*
Little late…but it’s for a reason.
0Hello all, and sorry its so late…well for me making this anyway hah (currently 3:24am CST)
Well first off, went to classes, and they went well :] got to talk to some classmates, who are new friends I’m slowing making (hopefully) haha…
Had to sit in traffic for 1 1/2hrs though on the way home…there was a nasty 4 car wreck on Lake Lewisville bridge fun, no?
Then I got home, talked to my love, Madison (sorry, you’re still feeling sick dear ), and checked my email….and you know what I had in the inbox?
– time for infomercial!
It was a PayPal notification of payment from Pickydomains.com, whom I joined as a contributor recently, and within the first day I had someone pick one of my suggestions for a domain. :]
So check it out if you want! It’s legit, fast, and easy to make a quick buck ($25 per picked domain) if your creative making a domain name (and well after you check to make sure its not taken that is…I use GoDaddy.com domain search to do so) :]
– end infomercial
and yeah, rest of day was mostly spent on the phone with Madison….up until around 7pm when my sissy Amber, who lives in Oklahoma got here! :] Then we ate supper, watched Fringe(I 
it), and then around 10pm Madisono called me back…and that’s all I did…up till 12:10l 12:10
English: World English Bible - WEB
10 Everyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but those who blaspheme against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven.
WP-Bible pluginam….that’s when we got a call from Sarah, my sis-in-law, that Brandon my oldest bro was sick, and couldn’t hold anything down, so he was constantly puking
So, we went over to their house to watch their kids, while she took him to the emergency room…and we did so, all of us, except Josh…and we was there up till about 2:40am…when they got back…apparently Brandon has Influenza…not Swine Flu…but still bad Influenza
Then we headed home, grabbed some hot chocolate and goodies at RaceTrac in Denton…then I got on here and started blogging :]
Fun day, eh?
Essay, Photoshop, and Missing Church.
3Hi there my readers! yes, I’m speaking to all 2 of you. hah.
My day was okay today, kinda bland again. I woke up at around 11:30pm from about 10 messages from Madison on IM that I had missed from 8am-11:20am IM SORRY BABY! :[ This keeps happening here lately and I'm sorry my love *kiss*
Anywho, got up, ate some grub, and then got on the computer. Where I did pretty much nothing of use, till Stephanie texting me, asking if I knew where to learn how to use Photoshop...So after a little while when I was on the pc, I sent her a list of sites for Tutorials, Inspiration, Brushes, and Fonts to help her out :] So that made me feel a little better that my time was actually helping someone maybe…
THEN…*cue theme music* DA DA DA!!!!! *drum roll*……….getting excited yet?…..*drum roll*……..*drum crash* MADISON CALLED! haha.
And I talked to her for a good bit o’ time, but she was tired and took a nap while keeping me on the line. So I got on Photoshop and Illustrator
Here’s what I made
Then, once Madison woke up, we talked some more, and she realized it was 6:50pm and I wasnt at church, and I told her about how my parents were still gone wherever, and so I didnt have a ride there, which also made me miss Cayli’s birthday party meh….anyway, then supper was done, and I let her go, ate, and then called her back.
But she had to do something, I forget what? And made me do my homework haha. So I finished up my Human A&P homework, and was in the middle of revising my “If” paper for English class when she called. And she helped me correct it and gave me alot of useful tips and ideas on what to do on the parts I was lost in.
So thanks so so much baby :] You’re a lifesaver *kiss* I lovea you! lol.
And then after I finished up that it was getting late, so I let my love go to bed, and I got up on the pc and starting typing this…man I was really detailed today eh?
Oh well!
EEK! I sorrys! :[
2I haven’t blogged in a few days…oops! well…HI!
So, recap needed of the weekend? Not really…but I will anyway!
Sunday:
Woke up at 9am, got ready, and went to church, had our pre-service practice at 9:30am, and church started at 10:30am…worship went well…Dad’s sermon this week was really good, but like it can be was a “toe-stomper” subject 
church let out and we headed to Luigi’s Pizza Italian Restaurant and ate some grub with my fam fam and Joseph Weaver and his fam :] I got Lasagna! mmm :] then we headed home, and from then on I was on the phone off and on with Madison. :]
Monday:
Hmm…well Monday was pretty bland, except getting to talk to my love after she was out of school :] Oh, I guess I could mention that Monday night I started messing around in Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, and Dreamweaver CS4 again trying to refresh myself, and get back into the habit. I’m going to start making something in Photoshop (or Illustrator) daily…even if its useless and random, just to keep refreshed, and to get practice in! That, and I’m trying to figure out how to make WordPress themes
Oh! Oh! I got really bored in Photoshop too Monday night and made all of these!
Tuesday:
Also pretty bland…except for once again talking to my love off and on when she was out of school :] — and a side note to my love, sorry you had a bad day today *kiss* I hope I helped make it better in some way throughout the day *kiss kiss* I Love You, My Angel :]
and that pretty much sums it all up, because I talked on the phone to me Madisono! And I ate grilled chicken with my fam fam + Aaryn = all my fam fam soon enough anyways
So yeah, that’s been My weekend/Monday/Tuesday/Why do I keep/Everything I say?/No/Idea/Huh/That’s just/Odd./././.
Oh, and yeah. Haven’t done this in awhile…and I really should have
Please check out these few sites by simply clicking on the pictures, and if your heart calls and beacons you, like it did, and does mine, then please join these causes…
It would mean alot to me, to many unborn babies wanting to live, and also to confused and hurt teens/adults needing love.
A Mediocre Friday
1Well, today was okay…Woke up at about 9am, got ready, and left for my Homeschool bowling league :] It was fun as always.
But ugh…my scores today was pretty horrid…mostly anyway. Today I scored 74, 133, and 108 = UGH haha…I tend to keep an avg of about 120 or so…but I about never hit under a 100. My scores range from 100-160 or higher on random days
Anyway, that all went okay. Then we left and went home…and that’s all I’ve done since. Amazingly exciting day, no?
So I guess what I’ll do is give a personal view on something. Sounds like a blasty-blast, eh? What am I going to talk about? No idea…haha. I’m literally just writing as I go…So this outta be interesting…
Hmm, so in Human A&P class last Thursday while my teacher was talking I realized something…anyone who doesn’t believe in anything but Intelligent Design (aka. God created everything) is off their freakin rocker…seriously.
I mean think about it…We are made up out of 11 organ systems within the human body: integumentary, skeletal, muscular, nervous, endocrine, circulatory, lymphatic, respiratory, digestive, urinary, and reproductive. And each one of those can be broken down into more categories, and those categories can be broken down into more categories…etc. And this goes on for a long while, until to get down to atoms. And we’re not even sure that’s the end…that’s just all we can get to. And if anything was different or served a different purpose then it does, or was a different shape. It wouldn’t work right for our bodies and we wouldn’t be able to live.
And if that isn’t enough to make someone see how intricate and detailed we are made, then zoom out in the opposite direction.
We, as a human, look like a pebble from the air, and further out, our state looks like a small spec from space…if its even able to be located. And our planet Earth, looks like a pebble next to Jupiter. And Jupiter looks like a pebble next to our Sun…etc
Here are even pics to describe what I mean
I mean seriously. How the hell could all of this be an accident or just happen from a series of random events?
Only a fool who doesn’t want to think their is a being who is above him and he should serve would want to deny Intelligent Design, or better yet, God. That’s who…
So why is it that in our school system what is being taught to them from a young age is The THEORY of Evolution…which when traced back was from people who didn’t want to accept there was a God, either because they didn’t want their to be a Master whom they should serve or submit authority to, or because they didn’t want to put belief in anything that they couldn’t see, or understand.
Why did I get off on to what I did? No idea. But I said it.
So take what you will from it.
So to those who don’t agree on that, don’t ridicule me, or say I’m wrong. Because on this subject I am right…you’ll just have to get over it, or leave.
To those still curious about exactly what I mean, leave me a email. or comment on here :]