Posts tagged Angel
Madison.
4Well, not too much happened today, I slept in pretty late (well besides being woke up to that dog barking his head off non-stop at 8am 
)
But I kinda want to take this blog to talk about my love, Madison.
As I’ve mentioned before, me and Madison met at Assembly of God church camp this year in late June of 2009…we saw each other for the first time, at two different times…and even from then I sensed something different…something intrigued me about her…I didn’t know what…but I wanted to find out…
So, that night we ended up getting placed on the same team(that’s funny considering of the tons of kids…we got on the same team) and got to know each other…We talked a little here and there…and I just felt that feeling grow…and I liked it…but it confused me…because it felt familiar…but completely new at the same time…and at that time I didn’t know what it was…which if you don’t know now…you will soon enough.
So, at the next lunch thing, I saw her about half way across the room…and we made silly hand gestures and faces back and forth…then I went to do something else, after not doing so in a while…and she was gone…and my heart sulked…and I didn’t really understand why…I mean I knew why…because I was kinda afraid that would be the last time I saw her…but I didn’t understand why I felt like that for someone I verily knew…
But me and a friend named Nate left, and I saw her sitting on the brick sidewalk thing…so we approached her…and proceeded to make smalltalk, talking about everything from shoes, to the huge balloon making noise behind us. But I liked and enjoyed it, and enjoyed learning even the smallest things about her, and her traits, and her habits. She intrigued me so much…and I didn’t know why.
So, from then on Me, Madison, Nate, and later the next day Lacey, all hung out for the remainder of camp…
But before I get ahead of myself…I want to keep going about us…
that following night we went to the main night service in the sanctuary…and during one part of it…Madison grabbed me, and Nate’s hand…and we went to the altar…where we prayed, and was prayed over…but then we sat down…and basically shared our deepest and darkest secrets with one another…and my heart poured out to them both…but especially Madison…once again…I felt that feeling…but mixed with compassion and hurt that was done to her…and I wanted to hug and kiss her and tell her its all going to be better…and I had to stop myself before I did…and I thought it was strange I felt that strongly for someones pain within a few days of knowing them.
Then next day, about mid day…something happened with me and my ex…who was there…fun I know…and pretty much tried to kick me to the dirt, then kick me again…and I took it…and didn’t try to hurt her or retaliate. But later…after she left…it was just the 4 of us…and we talked about it some…and I remember Madison nicknamed her “The Dragon Lady” and told me I didn’t deserve being treated like that at all. and then the announcement came over the speaker that we had to go to our dorms to do devotionals…and that’s when me and Madison hugged…then she leaned in and kissed me. And I know it was a kiss of “Its going to be better Andrew”. But I couldnt help but feel all bubbly…and different…very different…and I didnt understand it…even telling myself “No…no…it couldn’t be that…I’ve only known her a few days?!”.
So, once we we’re done with that..and met back up with the girls…I acted a bit differently…scared of doing anything under the false pretense of her just giving that kiss as nothing more then a sentimental “It’s going to be okay” and scare, or anger her. But I couldn’t help myself…and eventually I kissed her again, and again, and again. And it felt so….right…which logically made not one bit of sense in my head…at all. I was thinking “No, you’ve known her a few days, you cant love her, and even if so, why would she want to love or be with someone like you? shes way out of your league, and so much a better person then you.” Yes, I know I’m hard on myself lol. But that is how I thought….
But I couldn’t resist being near her, holding her, hugging her, and kissing her…it felt so familiar, so warm, so loving…but yet…so new…so refreshing…so…right.
So, before the evening service we we’re sitting down talking…and she had drew a heart on my hand….and it said “I <3 you”…literally a “<3″ not “love” haha….and I held up my hand and said “Me too”…but she wouldn’t let me get away with just that haha…she said “What do you mean?”…and I did it again…and she said something like “That’s not what I meant…what do you mean…I want to hear it” basically is what she meant…so…even though logically, I knew I shouldn’t be able to fall in love with someone in less then a week…I did…and I know I did…but I was afraid to say it…afraid of her not feeling the same…or of it being a “camp-fling” or the likes….but I pushed away the brain trying to tell me it cant be…that’s only in movies….and I told her…I said “I love you”…and she said “I love you too Andrew”……and the next question relieved, but scared me…she asked “Do you want it to end at camp?”…I said “No, no I don’t….at all”…and she said “Neither do I” and smiled…and rubbed her hand against mine. :] So from then on we we’re I guess “officially” dating :]
And it was hard those few weeks after camp only talking on the phone…and it still can be…see, she lives 1 1/2hrs away in jacksboro 
….but once I got to see her outside of camp…and it was the same warm smile…the same loving, eager eyes to see me…I felt in shock in a way…because somehow…someway…she looked even more beautiful then I remembered…somehow…and I remembered her being the most beautiful thing as it was…but from that second…I knew it was love…and I knew…it was…for real.
And this happened and happens every time I see her again. It’s like I’m looking at an angel…even more beautiful then the last one somehow….with those same loving, warm eyes…and those compassionate (and delicious) lips :]
So everytime I talk to her, I get to know her more, get to hear her stories, and her mine…and I get to love her more every day…but when I see her…oh…It’s not just that…everytime I see her….I see the purpose of life, what it feels like to be loved more then you, or anyone else can love you, what it feels like to enjoy hearing her voice, seeing her eyes, her smile, her love. And to know that it is towards you, and that you are loved by her….it is truly breath taking…and a beautiful thing to have…inside and out…
Just like my love…beautiful inside and out…
Just like…my Madison. *kiss*
EEK! I sorrys! :[
2I haven’t blogged in a few days…oops! well…HI!
So, recap needed of the weekend? Not really…but I will anyway! 
Sunday:
Woke up at 9am, got ready, and went to church, had our pre-service practice at 9:30am, and church started at 10:30am…worship went well…Dad’s sermon this week was really good, but like it can be was a “toe-stomper” subject 
church let out and we headed to Luigi’s Pizza Italian Restaurant and ate some grub with my fam fam and Joseph Weaver and his fam :] I got Lasagna! mmm :] then we headed home, and from then on I was on the phone off and on with Madison. :]
Monday:
Hmm…well Monday was pretty bland, except getting to talk to my love after she was out of school :] Oh, I guess I could mention that Monday night I started messing around in Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator, and Dreamweaver CS4 again trying to refresh myself, and get back into the habit. I’m going to start making something in Photoshop (or Illustrator) daily…even if its useless and random, just to keep refreshed, and to get practice in! That, and I’m trying to figure out how to make WordPress themes
Oh! Oh! I got really bored in Photoshop too Monday night and made all of these!
Tuesday:
Also pretty bland…except for once again talking to my love off and on when she was out of school :] — and a side note to my love, sorry you had a bad day today *kiss* I hope I helped make it better in some way throughout the day *kiss kiss* I Love You, My Angel :]
and that pretty much sums it all up, because I talked on the phone to me Madisono! And I ate grilled chicken with my fam fam + Aaryn = all my fam fam soon enough anyways
So yeah, that’s been My weekend/Monday/Tuesday/Why do I keep/Everything I say?/No/Idea/Huh/That’s just/Odd./././.
Oh, and yeah. Haven’t done this in awhile…and I really should have
Please check out these few sites by simply clicking on the pictures, and if your heart calls and beacons you, like it did, and does mine, then please join these causes…
It would mean alot to me, to many unborn babies wanting to live, and also to confused and hurt teens/adults needing love.
Time for the “Drew’s life” cram session.
1Okay, so…It’s been awhile, and there is too much to really cover…so I’ll break this down as much as I can…
First off lets hit the “Relationship” category…so, me and Hattie went downhill fast…she did things already in the past that I had forgave her for, stuff that I didn’t deserve to even happen to me honestly, but I still stayed with her and things we’re looking okay for awhile.
Then, Wham! Things for us starting declining, we started arguing more, especially in the area of her thinking and accusing me of being unfaithful (which will never happen in my book. If I don’t love you, I’ll leave you. Not cheat on you.) when in reality she was again, and I didn’t know.
Anyway, A few weeks before the Assembly of God camp thing I was going to with a AoG church in Denton I go to Sunday nights(when I can) and Wednesdays named Grace Fellowship, She broke up with me.
But she still tried to lead me along and leave me to believe she still loved me, despite the fact she was already all over other men.
And then Saturday day before camp I went with my brother Brandon to meet up with his ex-wife Angelique to drop off his daughter Hailey for the week, and I started talking to him about everything going on…everything…and everything I told him she was doing and saying, he remembered that’s just how his ex-wife would do and/or say.
And it was an eye-opener…I wasn’t sure if I should try to wait and see if she would change or get better, because I tend to be too nice and do that.
Then we got to the meeting point and I got out and talked to Angelique a little…and I realized something. He was right, Hattie was my version of a Angelique in my life. But I had an opportunity to end it before we we’re married and I end up married, then divorced to her, and save some pain. My brother unfortunately did not have a chance to do that.
Anyway, that Monday when we were leaving for camp. When I saw her, I let her go completely…and she didn’t let go of me, and that night I met two new friends: Nathan, and Madison.
And instantly I felt a connection with Madison I’d never felt before. I didn’t know what it was, but I didnt want it to leave.
Anyway, over that week, Hattie continued to argue and try to tell me she loved me.
And the more time I spent with Madison, the more I found how much of a fool I was to have ever considered my past relationships “Love”. Because with her, within that week I felt the same, and above the level of compassion and feelings towards her then I did with my exes. So by a few days in we decided to start dating, and this made Hattie furious that she just lost this game of leading me on even though she wasn’t ready to be committed to just me, or really love me.
But, and hopefully this doesn’t sound too cold…but I could care less about Hattie at that point.
All I cared about was listening to Madison talk, and learn more about her, and just take in her beauty inside, and out.
And even though it was an unorthodox way to meet your love, it happened regardless. :] Love you baby *kiss*
psst. this is her :]
Alright! well that’s basically out of the way…basically hah.
Next up is “Life”! haha. So yeah, now I’m a senior in high school (woot), I’m madly in love, I’m getting better at drums practically every month I almost feel like (I’m seriously not trying to be cocky, but yeah.), and OH. I have my driver’s license now! WOO! But, I have no car.
Oh, and later this next week dad is going to help me put in applications at a few places so I can gets a job!
So, as you can see. the biggest chunk of catching up was my whole “Relationship” story hah. there is other stuff I’m prob not thinking of…but I don’t remember at this time…if I do, I’ll just edit this or make a new entry :]