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Fallen

May 12th

Posted by Drew in Music

1 comment

Am I fallen, or am I falling?

Am I forsaken, or am I forsaking?

Am I unique, or am I losing it?

I ask you, all of this.

And what do I get?

Nothing, nothing but silence.

Why am I here?

Why did you make me like this?

Is it for a cause?

Is it for a purpose?

Why give me this, and not give me the instructions.

Why make me like this, but not make it easy.

Would that make it too easy?

Would that make it too open?

If so, than what am I supposed to do?

Sit here alone?

Go out a fight?

Help the wounded?

Or just keep on asking why?

Oh, why, why?

Why would you leave me here?

Oh, why, why?

Why wont you answer me here?

Oh, why, why?

Why wont you tell me?

Oh, why, why?

Why do you keep trying to break me?

All I want, all I ask, is a little help

But all  I get, all I hear, is a little hurt.

Why? Why make it like this?

Are you this cruel?

Or is there a point?

Can’t you just nod, or make some sign?

Oh, why, why?

Why wont you answer me?

Oh, why, why?

Why wont you comfort me?

Oh, why, why?

Why would you give me this?

Oh, why, why?

What can I do with it?

But sit here alone, staring up at you.

Asking you these worthless questions.

I guess I’ll never know, but it was worth a try.

Until the next I cry, This is goodbye.

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A toast to my former self….

May 12th

Posted by Drew in Life

No comments

Be sure you put your feet in the right place, then stand firm. – Abraham Lincoln

Isn’t it funny how our former self can be the worst foe we ever face? How we are still be haunted by the demons of the past like we only had made their acquaintance that very evening.

How is it we can be trifled and overcome by the past, killed in our sleep like a slow poison…eating at our very soul… and decimate our very being; blood wrenched and worst of all…victorious.

How is it we cannot truly defeat this once welcomed; but now worst enemy…what is it’s name? Oh, you know it well…it is your past mistakes. Not done by another, only by your own blood, your own vices, your own lust…and the only one you can blame is yourself as it overcomes you like a ocean; wave after wave…until you are too weary, and are overcame…and ultimately defeated.

Why is it that we can not just own up to it all, get it in the open…share our faults, our fears, our pain… Instead, like little ignorant fools we keep it to ourselves…in shame, in hatred, in fear. So really, honestly…why not? Do we not realize every other being on the planet has done something as well? That we are all equal, that we have all fallen at one point or another? Then why is it, we cannot come together in whole, and truly be equal with another in all things…instead of digging our own grave.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. – Romans 3:23Romans 3:23
English: World English Bible - WEB

23 for all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God;

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(NIV)
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Semper Fidelis

Apr 27th

Posted by Drew in Life

No comments

In translation from Latin, it means “Always Faithful”. On the back of someones car, it got me thinking…who among us can truly use this anymore? Sure it’s referring to the Marines. But I mean in a daily walk of life, who can use this? Me? You?…

I don’t know, life has been shooting me in the face this last month… Not just this and that… just everything; the point, the flow, the love, the reason, the peace, the hate. Just everything… I’ve felt so disconnected to the real world here lately…no reason to… just have been… I’ve been slowly reconnecting, especially with help from loved ones. But still, it’s just like taking everything in, its hard not to… to think of earth as a small dot in the works of everything. To think of work, play, sleep, and all the in-between.
I cant help it, I cant stop it. All I can do is try and rejoin the rest of you living your daily lives among another, while I feel like I’m observing ants in a ant habitat. Going about your daily life, all connected to one another without even realizing it really…but still all connected to each other. But I’m not, I am some kind of observer in the distance, commingling amidst you, and putting on a smile like I am part of you, but in reality only half of me is…only part of my spirit is, the rest is in a different world, a different everything. No one knows but me, and my God above…and most likely all but a handfull will ever know.

What can I do? nothing, ever. I have to live the rest of my human life in this meatsack of sin until the day my flesh dies and rots, maggot infested in the ground below, it almost is like the sin catches up with the body through the decay of the maggots…if you think about it that is what sin is coming out of our lives, life decaying maggots harvesting on our souls, much like they do our bodies once we die.
I’m stuck, I’m afraid, I’m slipping away… I’m tired, I’m scratching at the walls trying to hold on, I’m…I’m ready to feel at home again…reconnected, warm, at touch with my soul. Instead I am at war with myself, my will, and my heart. Because that is all I can do, and it cannot ever end… This, is my blessing and curse. To have this war. To have this disconnection. To have what I have, be who I am, and become what I will.

Is it worth it? Yes.
Does it always feel like it? No, rarely ever does.

Is this fair, you ask? Really, the answer is up to the eye of the beholder. To me, yes, it is for reasons noone would understand but me. But alas, I still have to bear it with passion, with pride, and with honor till the day I die.

Only me, myself, and God. But I know one thing…I have, and shall always be Semper Fidelis to it all.

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*Purr*

Apr 17th

Posted by Drew in Computers

2 comments

OMGITSBEENSOLONG.

So, in short?

Had amazing times with Madison which I’d love to go into detail about each one…but I will say we are growing closer than before… we might have our moments… but when it comes down to it… I love that woman whole-heartedly and endlessly, and cannot wait to marry her :] I love you Madison. Time, trials, and tribulations might come our way… But I’m in this for the long run… and that is not ever changing, my love.

Anyway, had an amazing concert in a school cafeteria with The Joshua Band…ahhh…it felt so nice to play somewhere like that and have such an amazing show, word, and altar call (over 50 kids got saved/rededicated).

I have rekindled my love for tinkering (soldering to fix stuff, build stuff, or change stuff…messing with pcs, building pcs..etc)…and in doing so I have made it once again harder to choose my career path :|

I have began to make/already made new close friends…and I know they’ll prob be life friends…and realized some that I lost…that I wish I didn’t. And I will continue to miss them until I rekindle or close that relationship that I severed. :/

I still don’t have a job. :|

I am getting near graduation…May 22nd!

I am still–if not more–insane/crazy/random.

I really don’t know what else that there is to say of importance atm… prob will have forgotten something big and have to make a new one…but oh well haha.

Hatred ever kills, love never dies; such is the vast difference between the two.
What is obtained by love is retained for all time. What is obtained by hatred proves
a burden in reality for it increases hatred. – Ghandi

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Rue, baby, Rue.

Jan 19th

Posted by Drew in Life

1 comment

Hello. :D

So, today was okay…slept in till 11:30l 11:30
English: World English Bible - WEB

30 For even as Jonah became a sign to the Ninevites, so will also the Son of Man be to this generation.

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am, and stayed in bed till 12:30l 12:30
English: World English Bible - WEB

30 For the nations of the world seek after all of these things, but your Father knows that you need these things.

WP-Bible plugin
pm lol…
This was because I was on the phone with Madison though <3 ...anyway....did this for a good bit, then I was up just walking around and playing with meh demon cat ;D and then talked to momma for a spell...then we ended up going to McDonald's for a drink, and ended up getting burgers :P

Then a bit later after I ate I jumped into the shower, then got on the PC for a bit while my hair dried haha...then Mom got ready, and so did I...because we decided since she had the day off, and I still am looking for a job, why not go to gainesville outlet mall, and get some apps :] So right before we headed out Dad got home, and he joined us ;D

When we got there I went to Rue21 and got a app, then filled it out and came back :]
And they seemed to like me…so maybe I have a job? I’m praying so :] and for backup I also got a app at Gap and Reebok at the same mall :]

So today was eventful and meaningful…but man, when I got home I started getting sinus pressure and migraines kicked in :/ So I laid down and ended up missing supper because of it…I was in too much pain to move, let alone eat hah…especially since Dad keeps the TV ungodly loud :| But thankfully after the nap and a quick bowl of cereal, the migraine was down to a headache, and the sinus pressure was almost gone :]
So I called Madison, and right away she made me take a Tylenol haha…

Then at about 9pm I guess it was Madison left to call some other people before it got late, and I ate something else and sat down and watched All About Steve with Josh and Aaryn :]

But then around 11:30pm Madison finally called me back…and I was on the phone with her up till around 12:15am when she went to bed :] And all I have done since then is checked my email, uploaded some new smileys and done this blog haha.
And this, ladies and gentlemen, has been my day :D

Until we meet again in this lonely abyss we call the “internet”,
So long, my wonderful readers.

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Inexplicable

Jan 16th

Posted by Drew in Life

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Intriguing isn’t it?

Life…that is.

It gives, it takes.
It heals, it hurts.
It loves, it hates.
It fills, it nulls.

But, in all of that…why does it happen? Why both? Who defined why getting slapped hurts, and getting kissed feels good?
who is to say we are freaks…living life out unintended of how it should be?

Example: Jenny walks down the street and stubs her toe…it hurts…later on, she gets kissed on the cheek by a boy she likes.
What defined our brain to take in that your toe suddenly hurts instead of it feeling good?…or that you like how it feels when another person’s skin is against yours…and that it shouldn’t hurt?

It’s funny to me how many people don’t question things like this…they just find it useless, or pointless…because no one has the answer, and they just go on with life never questioning even the most simplest of things…

Like why when we meet someone, we find it courteous to shake their hand or nod….who defined that? why?…why would grabbing and holding on to an appendage of a stranger seem like a great way of showing hospitality? seriously?….Or that when we kneel its a sign of submittance, I mean why would sitting higher then another being show you are the superior? When in fact its easier to overthrow or kill someone from a lower stance in all honesty…increase stability, access to vulnerable organs…along with other things.

No, there is no point or reason, or really even debate of this letter I write…
I’m just proving the point that we kinda just forget to question everything in whole…even little things we just learn to accept are reality and not, and what is and has always been…we treat it as it is this untouchable knowledge that will get us killed asking. Why? Search me…I just wanting to bring it to attention that we take advantage of everything a bit too much…and get way too comfortable.

I mean if someone from birth was told that eating a apple would kill him…I would be willing to bet that after 20+ years…if he ate a apple…he would die…Why? because we put so much faith and trust in these things we “know are true” to the point of it being dangerous…we make boundaries on life, and other things.
No, im not saying if you told a boy from birth he could fly he could…least…I really don’t think he would…who knows hah. God has the power to make it happen if he wanted.

We forget that…God is, well….God…
he doesn’t change anything because he made a covenant with us…and he is true to his word…so he doesn’t go changing the very fabric of space and time, or decide we breathe dirt and drink toxic radiation overnight….
But…if he wanted to….he could…you say, “well it would be impossible to breathe dirt, our bodies can’t func…oh”….what? what was that?…forgetting who designed our bodies in the first place?…
“But we cant breathe dirt…its solid matter and air isn’t”…well who defined what is and isn’t solid…or what solid even is?…God could decide everything solid is liquid, and liquid is solid….or make a whole new type of substance then the few we have….

We really forget his power and ability…because we’re so used to and have gotten comfortable with everything because its “always been this way”…It’s sad to me how much we forget about the bigger picture…even in the small things.

Life, Emotion, Actions, Rules….etc
All put in to play by God…who defined exactly what each is.

So, I guess there is a point to this letter….
Never forget the true power and importance of everything…and stop just living life without questioning the very fabrics of space and time…big or small…it’s important, and its made for a reason….
But just because it has always been this way…or so we are told…doesn’t mean we should forget that it is changeable…and that it isn’t just “set in stone”.

I’ll be honest…I came into this letter with just one word…Inexplicable…and this is what happened…good or bad…pointless or life-changing.

But I guess now I have a letter to go with the word hah.
Such a ironic sentence no? Anyway, just finish up knowing this…if nothing else…question it all…all of it…and never just settle for what you’ve been told…or what you assume or know has always been this way…to me, it’s a waste of time, and life to go without questioning….

And it is also a waste…to go on with life without knowing that true power of God….the true power of everything.

That it truly is….
Inexplicable.

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ATI, Everything, Faith, God, IDE, Inexplicable, Jenny, Life, Love, Other, Religion_Belief, Rules, Theology

Photoshopness

Jan 13th

Posted by Drew in Computers

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Okay, so I’m trying to get back into the habit of blogging, and photoshopping daily :]
I’ve been doing PS off and on…and blogging….never |:

SOOO…here is a bunch of randomness from photoshop…newest to oldest :]

[View with PicLens]
Photomanipulation with skull and my pic I made
Random myspace comment I made
BCD Logo on Shirt
minister's conference banner I made for SLC
safari childrens ministry banner I made for SLC
My eye turned red
My eye, turned blue
My eye normal color
Random Happy Birthday graphic made
BCD Logo idea for my personal business
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Christmas Recap

Dec 27th

Posted by Drew in Life

2 comments

So. It’s been awhile no?
Sorry, really…sorry…

First off on the list of things…I GOT TO SPEND A EARLY CHRISTMAS WITH MADISON FOR 3 DAYS! :D
We got to spend 3 full days at her Grana’s house from the 20th-22nd of December :] and they really made me feel like family <3
Got a bunch of nifty stuffies from Madison, her mom Kristi, her bro Parker, and her Grana and Granpa…so overall an amazing week :]

Then I got to spend christmas day with my family, that including Brandon, Sarah, Amber, Michael, Josh, and Aaryn as well :] Almost didn’t get to due to the ice (well Amber & Michael anyway…they like in Ada,OK o.o )
Also got alot of stuffies from all of them, and just had a fun time spending quality time with my family :]

Well…I know its a really bland recap, but I thought I’d let you in on my Christmas events :P
Hmm…I guess to fill the dead air I’ll add some pics! :D

[View with PicLens]
baby
kisses
more kisses
cutiefish
loving eyes
ghost andy
smooch!
smexy
<3
she really likes it :P
told ya
before...
and after...thanks for the present Madison :| haha
Kristi, Parker, and Madison :]
Madison and Me <3

Later my bloggettes! :D

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Death.

Nov 12th

Posted by Drew in Life

4 comments

It scares everyone. It surprises us all. It sneaks up on us  or someone we love off guard. And there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Scary thought, no?
If it isn’t then you are one of the rare few that have no fear of death. But what exactly, is death? And what, if anything, is after?

The definition of death states “Death: a permanent cessation of all vital bodily functions - the end of life”

But is this true? Is it the end? As soon as your body is dead..is that really, truly “the end of life”?
To most, no, it is not the end. It is only the beginning of something better, or worse…
For an example, let’s try some common religions.

Buddhist: Buddhists maintain that rebirth takes place without an unchanging self or soul passing from one form to another. The type of rebirth will be conditioned by the moral tone of the person’s actions (karma). For example, where a person has committed harmful actions of body, speech and mind based on greed, hatred and delusion, rebirth in a lower realm, i.e. an animal, a ghost or a hell realm, is to be expected. On the other hand, where a person has performed skillful actions based on generosity, loving-kindness (metta), compassion and wisdom, rebirth in a happy realm, i.e. human or one of the many heavenly realms, can be expected.

Islam: Islam teaches that the purpose of man’s creation is essentially to be kind to other human beings and to worship the Creator of the Heavens and Earth – Allah. Islam teaches that life lived on this Earth is a test for man to determine each individual’s ultimate reward or punishment in the afterlife, which is eternal and everlasting.

Christianity: Christian beliefs about the afterlife vary between denominations and individual Christians, but the vast majority of Christians believe in some kind of heaven, in which believers enjoy the presence of God and other believers and freedom from suffering and sin. One belief says that God, in His own time and in His own way, will bring the world to its appropriate end. According to His promise, Jesus Christ will return personally and visibly in glory to the earth; the dead will be raised; and Christ will judge all men in righteousness. The unrighteous will be consigned to Hell, the place of everlasting punishment. The righteous in their resurrected and glorified bodies will receive their reward and will dwell forever in Heaven with the Lord.

Atheist(or the lack of religion): One famous and well known Atheist named John Leslie states that ” Each of us, is immortal because our life patterns are but an aspect of an “existentially unified” cosmos that will persist after our death. The soul, consists of information, not matter. And one of the deepest principles of quantum theory, called “unitarity,” forbids the disappearance of information.”

“What good is this doing me, now I’m freaking confused…thanks Andrew.”

I’m getting to my point…stop being impatient.

So which should you believe? That’s not my decision.
But what do I recommend? I recommend that whatever you believe in, you really make sure whats going on, and you’re sure its the truth.


For me? Well I believe in Christianity.

That Jesus Christ was a immaculate conception from the virgin girl named Mary, and that Jesus is the Son of God. I also believe in the Gifts of the Spirit.
That sin is sin, we are all born into a fleshly body that naturally wants to sin, but that you need but only accept Christ into your heart, and he’s there with loving arms for as long as you keep a committed relationship with him.
That you try to live the best, sinless life you can, but that everyone is human and we make a mistake, but Jesus will always be there waiting with His hand out to pick you up and accept you just the same.
That you can only make it into Heaven through His name, Jesus Christ, because he, and he alone shed His own blood on the cross for all of our sins we ever have committed, are committing, and will commit, and that if you choose to deny him as your Lord and God, and blaspheme His name, that he says “But since you are lukewarm and not hot or cold, and I will spew you from my mouth.”.
But, again, this is only for those who choose to live a life full of sin, and not repent for their wrong doings, and accept Jesus’ free gift of forgiveness and love, that is always available.
And that in the end days, Revelation will take place, and that a judgment will befall the world for its unrepentant, perverse wickedness, and blasphemy.
And after that we will reign in heaven for 1000 years until God creates a New Heaven, and a New Earth for us all.

Did I always believe the above?

No. I found out after much studying of many religions and beliefs, that this is the one I know is true.

And does that mean that I’ll never question any of it again?

No. I’m too much of a thinker.

So does that mean I’m not sure what I believe in then?

Again, no. I just question everything.


I cant force you to believe what I do, and I’m not trying and I’m not going to try to.

But I will tell you this, I didn’t just believe what my parents did, I didn’t just believe what is the easiest thing to go by or to get away with the most stuff (obviously). But after awhile I knew that this was it, and that it was so much better then all the rest. That having a intimate relationship with a almighty and never-ending being was alot better then believing in dead gods/gods that never speak back to you, or that we are nothing at all, but matter.

So, main point?

Really take the time to sit down and ask questions about your beliefs, why you believe them, and what it means and does for you, especially after your body ceases to function and you are at “a permanent cessation of all vital bodily functions - the end of life”. It’s alot more important then you probably thought it was before this blog. hopefully anyway.

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Meaning.

Nov 11th

Posted by Drew in Life

No comments

The Point of it all…

What is the point of it all? Really, think about that question truly and wholly, and you’ll find its hard to answer…why?

Want an example?

If you told me “the point of it all is to get as rich as you can and live your life to the fullest”…
I’d ask you the simple question “why?” whoa…didn’t think about that one much did you?

What I mean is sure…it’s nice to have money, and in turn nice things and able to do a lot of stuff…but why do it? Why go out and work your end off, to have finally by the time you are in your late 20’s – early 40’s to have hopefully made a good sum of money. Just to spend on things that will be useless soon, breakdown, digress in fun, and pretty much be useless to you once you’re dead.

Oh, okay, you didn’t mean make money for stuff…you meant a lot of money to go out, party, get drunk/high, and have a night full of wild sex with a hottie from a club…right? Again I would ask “why?”

First off, you can only party so long and all it’s doing is making you tired and sweaty.

Secondly, getting drunk only lasts so long, and doing more will kill you…and getting high on a drug will only do so much for you, and get you addicted, and either…luckily kill you, or even worse make you lose all your wealth on this addiction you made, and be living on nothing, having to give blowjobs to a perverse fat man named “Pete” to get a gram or two of your drug of choice….

Oh, but I left out all those hottie’s in the club you get to have all that crazy/wild sex with…right?

No, that’s next.

Sex only fills a need (yes a very good feeling need) for so long, until you have to stop.
And you know what? Just having sex is useless….

”what the hell do you mean Andrew? Explain that statement!”

I plan on it…

Ok, so you take a hot, young woman home, do your thing, and she leaves that night or the following morning…then what?…you do it again with someone else….and someone else…and someone else…and…oh…you’re too old…now the hotties think you look like a old pervert…
And you know what? Now you have two options…Hire hookers, or actually try to date someone.
But you know what that does? By the time you are done “Having fun, being single, and living like a king” all the girls even worth marrying are taken, or are not interested in someone who has done every girl he has came in contact with.
So you end up alone, and with a empty place in your home, and your heart…and you’ll realize that instead of partying, getting quick fixes, and having sex with alot of random women, you should have given a crap about one of them, or another girl.

Because guess what? Good job…your life of “partying” didn’t pay off well in the end…you’re alone…or still filling it with quick fixes, stuck with a girl you got pregnant you don’t love, or you have to use your money to get another fill of happiness in the form of booze, drugs, or sex.

And you realize something…you just screwed up ad wasted your whole life on petty useless things…all those “stories” you were able to tell friends are gone…because as soon as the wealth, fame, or fun is gone…so will those “friends” you had. Your alone, pathetic, and miserable…

But oh hey! There is all that precious money of yours still…maybe anyway…so how much does that green paper have meaning now?

Not as much huh?

What is the point of this?

Nothing really…
I’m just trying to get across in my own way of saying that there is nothing of or from this world that will feel our needs.

Think About It.

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    • Madison Reese: I love it baby. but it makes me want to cry. do tell me love where did this song come from???
    • : I added your blog to bookmarks. And i'll read your articles more often!
    • Tweets that mention *Purr* | Drew Reese's Blog -- Topsy.com: [...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Andrew Reese. Andrew Reese said: A New Entry in the...
    • Madison Reese: someone needs to blog *cough*
    • Drew: Changed :]
    • Madison Reese: its Grampa. change it.
    • Broashyoppoto: Wow, I didn't know about this topic up to now. Thanx!
    • : Interesting and informative. But will you write about this one more?
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